Now before you start with all your churchisms, cliches and rebukes, hear me out.
"I'm just waiting on God."
That's the answer so many Christian single women give when they are questioned about their dating life. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that either, until waiting on God becomes toxic, counterproductive and debilitating.
Let me explain.
"Waiting" on God, for the average single, Christian woman, means crossing her fingers, eyes and toes and hoping that by some chance, this mysterious Man of God will come along and sweep her off her feet. Then for years on in, she patiently clicks her ruby-red, blood-of-Jesus stained heels in hopes that the next time love comes a'knockin' it will be supernaturally easy, safe and risk-less.
Jesus expects something quite different while you "wait" for his deliverance, blessing, etc. Consider the parable of the 3 servants where they were each given talents while the Master was away. The first 2 invested it and got a return. The 3rd servant hid his treasure for safekeeping. Sound familiar?
In some seasons, your treasure is wealth. In others, its youthfulness. Well, right now, single lady, your talent is your single life.
Most times when church leaders speak to unmarried congregants about investing their single life, its a guilt trip to coherce them to work in church. I suggest an additional way of investing your single life: Invest intentional, specific time to preparing for the relationship you're waiting for.
AND DON'T GET ME WRONG!! I GET IT!! Dealing with men and your heart can be scary and exhausting...especially after they've won your heart over and over again only to break it into unrecognizable pieces and callously give it back to you.
I've got good and bad news for you, that's not what waiting on God looks like sis.
Waiting on God means preparing for the
blessing during the waiting process.
Not distracting yourself with church work, career and kids to avoid the preparation process and get straight to the blessing. There's SO MUCH to do between that last break-up and meeting your husband....and its not just praying and believing. Faith without works is dead is applicable here too.
Waiting vs Fating
What you're doing is called FAITING. Dictionary.com defines fating as "something that unavoidably befalls a person." Ok, honestly, I can't think of a worse way to describe meeting the man with whom you intend to spend the rest of your life.
Fating is something that happens by chance. And on the surface, it looks very Christianly and appealing because there is nothing more noble than doing NOTHING and feeling like whatever happens is definitely God's marvelous will and work.
Don't think that because something happens
without you putting any work in it, means God did it.
Again, sorry sis, that's not what waiting on God for your husband (or anything for that matter) looks like.
I did it too.
What about you? Are you fating or waiting?
If you're honest, you're probably fating too; dodging your heart, relationships, men, etc. Swearing by memes like this one:
NEWSFLASH SISTA, if you don't do something productive (other than hide out) to deal with your love life woes, when the next man comes along,
he will simply be your next escort on
the same, disappointing, relationship rat-race.
Then, despite how un-Christianly it is to admit this, with every cycle of faiting and dating, you lose a little bit of your faith that God will come through but gain new bricks for that fortress around your heart..making it almost impossible for even a GOOD man who has sought God to access it.
There are very practical, actionable things you can do to actually PREPARE for the relationship you want WHILE YOU pray and wait on God.
"So What should I do?" you ask. Read part two of this post here: 3 Reasons Why Waiting on God Is Failing You Single Christian