- Hey Hopeful Realist.... Let's Talk -
Yeah, I know you're over it...over them.
Men have not done right by your grandmothers, mothers, aunts, sisters, cousins, friends... even you.
The endless parade of emotionally immature, irresponsible men can be frustrating.
It really shouldn't be this hard to connect with a decent man, right?
Its easier and safer to just focus on living your best life as a single woman.
After all, there's a lot you can do on your own... from traveling the world to devoting yourself to your business or ministry to seeing Beyonce and Blue Ivy rip the stage.
The world is yours.
But for some annoying reason, despite the fact that you've sworn off of men, and built an amazing life...
You still feel the desire for companionship
Pssst... its safe to say that here, by the way...
God made us this way & its good.
Sure, you can try to ignore it because it seems to be the most logical and powerful thing you can do.
But the reality is, the desire for companionship is still there.
Despite how many times you tell yourself:
"most married women are probably miserable"
"logistically speaking, women outnumber men so not everyone will be married"
"I have a great life without him, I'll lean into that."
"I'm just waiting on God"
"If it happens, good...if it doesn't good."
You're secretly hoping you're one of the ones that it does happen for.
But its scary or exhausting to think of getting out there or meeting someone only to be disappointed or mistreated....again.
It almost feels foolish to
even hope it can happen.
You see it happen for her over there but...
YOU'VE BOUGHT INTO THE IDEA
That doesn't happen for girls like me who are accomplished, successful, educated, healed, tall, skinny, strong, short, fat, happily single, busy, shy, no non-sense, waiting on God....you name it.
Sis, we all come up with survival statements and tactics that help us keep that nagging urge for companionship at bay.
Just in case no one else has told you:
You don't have to fight or resist the urge for companionship.
There is a world that exists where you can lean into and explore that desire without:
- hurting yourself
- breaking your own heart
- adding to your frustration
- lowering your standards
- setting yourself up for disappointment
- compromising your values.
I'm not telling you what I've studied as a therapist and relationship coach.
I'm telling you what I've lived.
I'm a woman who quite literally took 40 years to circle the same mountain of doubt, disbelief and discouragement regarding men, dating and marriage...
AND I KNOW THIS FOR SURE
The issue isn't the dating pool.
Its not the city you're living in.
Its not the lack of single men at your church.
Its not even the podcasters' rhetoric.
Its none of the things we seem to think are unique to dating today.
Dating has ALWAYS had an assortment of challenges... including but not limited to:
- Commitment-phobes
- Incels and Red Pill Communities
- Inconsistency
- Men seeking pleasure rather than connection
- Men with no integrity
While the internet has made these things more visible, these issues have always existed.
Yet, through the decades people have still been able to find and build happy, lasting, healthy relationships.
So we know it's possible...despite the challenges.
The million dollar question is:
HOW DO YOU BECOME ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE?
There are 3 things you'll have to address:
1) What happened to you isn't your fault but your transformation is your responsibility.
Yes, he cheated, he lied, he was abusive - that's all on him. But fixing the ways it negatively impacted you are your responsibility.
2) Be honest about what you really want.
Let your actions AND words line up. If you want to be married, own it and act accordingly. Double-mindedness is unstable in every way.
3) Prioritize becoming the person who can have the type of healthy, happy relationship those people have.
Though you're not dating now and are busy with other parts of your life, if you want to be married, NOW is the time to prepare for that; not when you meet someone.
Sis, that part of your life isn't growing because you aren't watering it. If you don't properly attend to it, you become a magnet for relational vagrants.
If you've been waiting for a sign... HERE IT IS:
Its time to prioritize approaching your love life differently.
Better
Relationships
Start Here.
WELCOME TO YOUR "WINNING IN LOVE" ERA
The Become The One discussion community is specially curated for single women like you to decompress, calm your nervous system and start preparing for love.
The Become The One Community is for the woman who...
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Is preparing for marriage or a long-term commitment
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Is healing from a past relationship or divorce
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Is having trouble meeting "the one"
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Struggling to forgive themselves or others
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Is discouraged by the current dating landscape and has lost hope in finding love
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Grew up in a challenging or dysfunctional family environment
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Struggles with social anxiety or making meaningful connections
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Is struggling to find "the one" or worried about staying single
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Has experienced repeated patterns of toxic friendships or difficulty forming new ones
A Message From The Become The One Facilitator
Relationship Preparation isn’t just something I coach. It’s something I've lived.
I was the quintessential single woman, busy in the kingdom and I arrogantly believed that I was ready for a Christ-centered relationship and would recognize it if it presented itself. I wasn’t. Most women aren’t nearly as ready as they think.
The reality was, I wasn’t waiting on God. God was waiting on me to explore the deep places within, clear emotional clutter, and prepare for the type of love I had been praying for.
What I thought was discernment was actually fear.
What I thought was clear boundaries and knowing what I wanted was really control.
Who I thought was “the one”... wasn’t.
It took heartbreak, prayer, and the Soul Detox to uncover this truth.
3 John 1:2 says, “Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.” True soul prosperity comes when we do our part and trust God to do His. It’s not just about letting go of the past, but making space for the future He has planned.
It’s about partnering with Him to clear the path to a healthier, more fulfilling relationship with God, yourself, and eventually, Mr. Right.
WEDDING DAY: I met the man I would eventually marry just 30 days after completing my Soul Detox. When your soul is clear, God is free to deliver the love you desire.
How it started vs how it's going.
1-1-2021
5-10-25
NEXT STEPS
Step 1: Join the Become The One discussion community and participate in the discussions.
Step 2: Grab a copy of the book, Become the One: 3 Courageous Steps to Become the Version of YOU Your Future Requires.
Step 3: Participate in discussions with our Therapist and Relationship Readiness Team.
What you do next, determines the quality of your love life. Don't delay join today. Its absolutely FREE!
What Alumni Are Saying
The next phase in reaching your love goal is BECOMING THE ONE!
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Weekly Discussion Topics
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